Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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