They should really pass out barf bags in church
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
