Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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