I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He shit in the fireplace
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
