Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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