Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Mom said you looked used
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
