I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
