And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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