Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
