I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
