She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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