stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
