never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Who died my cat blue again?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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