it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me