What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.