Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(801): View more from Utah

My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv

Fav 39 1722 4734
share tweet
(716): View more from New York

All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.

Fav 10 1203 2329
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(239): View more from Florida

I wish I could drop acid with the muppets

Fav 33 5070 994
share tweet
(443): View more from Maryland

sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?

Fav 13 1071 3538
share tweet
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(732): View more from New Jersey

everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications

Fav 21 7731 1068
share tweet
(773): View more from Illinois

Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me

(847): View more from Illinois

No promises.

Fav 33 5820 1292
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(847): View more from Illinois

Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.

Fav 42 10315 2083
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(812): View more from Indiana

I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.

Fav 2 1123 758
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(864): View more from South Carolina

he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"

Fav 3 24 88
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT