I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
how do flat chested girls get laid?
should my penis look like a turkey
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?