I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
