I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
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high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
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I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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