she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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