I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
