like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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