Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I am one with the molecules
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Randomize
