no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
