I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I think I won the penis lottery.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
