The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
