Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
