I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
