Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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