Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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