i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
