Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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