yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
