Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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