what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
