Fuck appropriateness.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
