Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
