Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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