I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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