Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
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