Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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