oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize