haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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