it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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