DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
