new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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