I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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