I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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