I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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