i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize