Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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