Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
How naked do you want me to be?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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