i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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