She's JV to your varsity
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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