is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
