yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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