Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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