Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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