i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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