when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
