you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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