i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
